On The Other Side
by Lizzie9
Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Post yesterday, MD, Maddison eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

_But we're never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy._

His face was so hopeful. Undaunted, not jaded, full of bright hope. It was probably what her own face had looked like a few months ago when she sat in this very bar, praying that the next person through the door would be Derek. She had been hopeful then, she was sure. But Mark, Mark had the kind of hope she wished she could still hold on to. It was pure pick me, choose me hope. He still thought she was coming. The hope hurt her, because it was a hope that had long since died for Meredith Grey.

"She won't show you know." She said, thinking that maybe if she killed his hope a little bit, she might feel a little less empty. "He's not the kind of guy you leave if you can help it."

Mark looked at her, intensity flashing in his eyes. "What if you're wrong?" he asked her. "What if just this once, life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?" Meredith looked him, allowing herself to hope to for just one short second. If Addison went back to Mark… she shook her head to herself and drained the contents of her glass. That was never going to happen.

"That's never going to happen. Addison and Derek? They're some kind of golden couple. I almost died, and all he could do was stand in my foyer."

"I see the way he looks at you." Mark said, gripping her should as he sipped his drink. Meredith turned her head to face him and smiled at him softly.

"I hope it's kind of like the way she looks at you." She whispered. She bit her lip and sighed. They sat in heavy silence, each nursing their drink each hoping against hope that Addison would walk through the door. Meredith thought about what she would do if Addison came, if she gave up on Derek, and came to run back to New York with Mark. She knew she would abandon all notions of pride and go crawling back to him. She needed Derek like she needed oxygen. She had been suffocating slowly without him.

Minutes passed, and neither of them spoke as they gave way to an hour, then two. Finally Mark looked over at her, an ironic smile on his face. "Wow." He said simply. "She's really not coming."

Meredith shrugged and took a sip out of her new glass, her full drink. "We can't win, Mark." She said softly. "We can't take action. If we tempted them, if we tested them, we would be the bad guys and then we wouldn't even have hope. All we can do is wait." She said, sighing.

Mark took a long swallow of scotch. "God, that's depressing." He said. Meredith smiled a little, in spite of herself. Mark shook his head. "You know what, Grey? You're absolutely right." He said. "And you're completely wrong." Meredith arched an eyebrow at his glass, and he brushed her off impatiently. "I'm not drunk. I just realized what we can do."

"I'm not sleeping with you." Meredith said. "It would kill Derek. He would… he would never.." she trailed off. Mark smirked at her.

"That, Meredith, is where you're wrong. They only way to do nothing and something at the same time is to hit them where it hurts." Meredith shook her head.

"We can't." she said decisively, although the more she thought about it, the better it sounded. Jealousy was a powerful motive.

"We can." Mark said. "Derek and Addison are over. They're just too damn noble to admit it. The only thing keeping him trying is the idea that you'll still be waiting for him when she throws in the towel. Take that away, and they'll both panic." Meredith bit her lip, lost in thought.

"We have to have something." She said slowly, working it out in her head. "Not just a one night stand, something real. Something that looks real."

"You're not going to fall in love with me, are you?" Mark asked. Meredith considered him seriously. She was hurting, she was vulnerable. She wanted Derek. She raised her eyebrows at Mark and shook her head.

"I'm not going to fall in love with you." She said, rolling her eyes.

Mark smirked. "Fair enough. Are we doing this? Taking matters into our own hands?" he asked her. She thought about the way Derek had looked at her when he told her about the last time they had kissed. She thought about the way he looked when Addison leaned in for him to kiss her cheek. She took a long swallow of her drink and slapped her hand on the bar.

"We're doing this." She decided.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

**So, season finale. Wow. Cant even talk about it, but this fic couldnt have come at a better time. To Morgen 86, carsonfiles, etc. We dont like MerMark either, but we needed to do something that gave Mer some power over herself. She's taking matters into her own hands in this story, but because she's Meredith, she does it in a screwed up way. ****It's season two Mer. She's desperate. she'll do anything. Also, optimism, new days, starting over, all relevant themes for the story.**

**REVIEW!**

"_Rain, dripping down your face again, take the pain killer." –Turnin Brakes_

Cristina Yang was for once, speechless. She was sitting on a bench in the locker room, speechless, staring at her best friend, her person, in a wide eyed combination of horror and admiration. This plan that Meredith had been whispering about was a horrifying way to burn bridges and screw her up a little more. But still, Cristina couldn't help but be a little proud, because she never would have guessed that Meredith had it in her.

Izzie and George entered the locker room with travel mugs of coffee, chattering to themselves. Cristina made a face. "It's five thirty. Who are you people?" Izzie rolled her eyes and out her coat in her locker.

"We're optimistic." She said. "It's a new day, free of bombs and illicit linen closet sex. We are being optimistic, and optimistic people are happy when a new day comes." She declared, sipping her coffee. She made a face and stuck out her tongue after swallowing. "This is disgusting." She said. "It's like coffee on steroids. Since when do we brew our coffee so bitter?" she asked Meredith.

"So much for optimism." Cristina said, a snort of laughter escaping her lips.

Izzie turned around indignantly, her hands on her hips. "I am still being optimistic. I can be optimistic without coffee. Seriously. New day. Fresh start. All of that." She said, grinning. Cristina rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Mer." Izzie started. "Who the hell made this coffee?"

Meredith, who had sunk down onto a bench put her head into her hands and groaned. Shaking her head, without looking up, she muttered, "This day sucks."

"Mer's going for optimistic too." Cristina sniped.

"Shut up!" Meredith yelped at her, drawing her knees up onto the bench and to her chest protectively. "You people are supposed to be supportive. That's why you call yourself my friends."

Izzie arched an eyebrow. "Okay, what's going on?" Meredith waved them in close to her. "What happened to you last night?" Izzie said, her tone changing from gossipy to concerned.

"_Let's drink to it." Mark said, signaling to Joe that they were going to need another drink. "Let's drink to taking life into our own hands. To getting what we want." _

"_We don't know that we're going to get what we want." Meredith corrected. "If anything, you're my tequila." _

_Mark arched an eyebrow at her and she regarded his face. He was gorgeous; if there was someone she needed to connive with, he was a pretty decent candidate. "When things go bad, I drown myself in tequila. It's a pain killer. A defense whatever." _

"_Planning on drowning in me, Mer?" she winced inwardly at the name Derek called her when they woke up in the morning, but shook it off. She rolled her eyes at him and held up her glass. Two shot glasses clinked together, and two drinks were poured down two throats. _

"_This is never going to work." Meredith said, nodding to Joe. "Never ever. They're going to hate us. They're going to band together. We're going to drive them together." She said, panicked._

_Mark gestured to his face. "I don't think that seeing me with you is going to band Derek to Addison in any way." He said, picking up another full shot glass. Meredith rolled her eyes. _

"_Whatever. It's still not going to work." She said, tipping the tequila down her throat. _

_Mark grinned, and gave her what she immediately realized was the McSteamy look. "This is where we differ, Grey." He said playfully. "I am an optimist. You? Not so much. I also happen to know Derek and Addison very, very well. I know what buttons to push." _

"_We're manipulating them." She said flatly. Mark considered this and nodded. Meredith turned to Joe and held up two fingers, and watched as Mark did the same. "We're manipulating them. We're scheming. We're the villains." _

_Mark grinned and nodded. "It's kind of sexy, isn't it?" Meredith looked up in surprise and realized that he was. She felt a pull to him, a strange attraction. It wasn't how she felt about Derek, it was something a little more reckless, a little exciting. Something clicked into place, and suddenly, she didn't care if they were manipulating them. Maybe it was the tequila coursing through her blood, but she was tired of doing nothing. She wanted to get what she wanted, for once. _

_She leaned over and kissed Mark on the lips. He pulled back, surprised, looking at her with questioning eyes. _

"_It is kind of sexy." She answered. "If we're going to do this, it might as well be fun." Mark grinned and slid off of his bar stool. Meredith downed the two shots in front of her and followed suit. _

"_You got a house, Grey?" he asked. She had taken him to her house, and against all reason, and better judgment had let Mark Sloan kiss her up the stairs, take her clothes off and get into bed with her. _

Izzie stared at her, wide eyed. "Mark Sloan? Addison's Mark? McSteamy made the shitty coffee?"

Meredith let her head fall back into her hands. "Will you whisper, please?" she hissed at Izzie, casting a look behind her. "I don't want George to know. Just you two. He'll be all protective and mother hen like."

Izzie nodded. "So you're together? With Sloan? But not really?"

Meredith shrugged. "That's the plan."

Cristina shook her head. "Seriously, Mer?" she hissed. "Seriously? You think this is going to work? This is your grand scheme? You know there are like five thousand ways this could blow up in your face, right?"

Meredith made a face. "Hey, thanks, Cristina." She said, rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"I'm just saying that this is big. And you are not deviant enough to pull it off. McDreamy shoots you pained look and you'll be in a melty heap apologizing at his feet or whatever."

Meredith's head shot up and she looked at them with a fire in her eyes. "Look, have either of you ever been dumped for a wife? You don't know what its like. I can do this, and I will. I'm so sick of letting this happen. Of taking it all. Yesterday, there were no roads to Derek, now one just opened. I'm doing it." She said her voice low. She got up and put on her lab coat, leaving the locker room.

"You better have a talk with him about the coffee!" Izzie shouted after her. She turned to Cristina. "Whoa." She said.

* * *

Richard Webber sat at his desk, a desk he couldn't see, because it was covered in paperwork. There was a sharp knock at his door, and Patricia's head popped in. "Mark Sloan is here to see you, sir." She said, stepping aside and letting him in.

Mark sat down. "I know you don't like me." He said, looking Richard in the eye. I know that no one here really likes me. I'm a jackass, I get that. But no one here, save for one person, knows what really happened in New York. I'm not here to tell the story, clear my name. I can take responsibility for what happened between Addison and I. What I am here for, is because you've transferred your last seventeen plastics cases to Mercy West." He said.

The chief looked at him and cleared his throat, reaching for his coffee cup to buy himself some time. He looked down at the piles of paper surrounding him. Without moving anything, he could see that many of the pages were transfer papers of cases he had sent to other hospitals. Plastics cases.

"Seventeen cases, Dr. Webber." Mark said. "We both know I'm the best. We both know that if I'm here, cases will be transferred to you. The hospital will get published. I can get clients from L.A. to fly to Seattle for me." He said. He crossed his arms over his chest. "So, what do you say Chief?"

"You're asking me for a job?" Richard clarified.

"I'm asking you to let me help you." Mark said, smiling slightly. He really should have gone into politics, he thought to himself. He waited for Webber to make a move. He pushed an intercom button on his phone.

"Patricia, have someone draw up a contract for Dr. Sloan. Get him a coat, an office and whatever else he needs." He barked into it. He looked up at Mark. "I'm giving you this chance, not because I want to, but because it is what's best for my hospital. You're already on thin ice, Sloan." He said. Mark nodded, and Richard got up to open the door. As they prepared to exit, they came face to face with Derek.

"You're giving him a job?" he asked the chief, hurt showing on his face.

Richard sighed. "Derek, with the amount of plastics cases we've transferred, I really don't have a choice." He said.

Mark smirked and walked towards the door. "I'll leave you two to talk it out." He said. "Round three. Goes to the jackass." He opened the door into the hallway, and from his profile, Derek saw the smile he gave to young, impressionable women he wanted to sleep with. Mark turned around. "Hey, Derek?" he asked. "Round four? That one goes to the jackass too."

"Round four?" Derek asked. Mark opened the door just wide enough to give a glimpse of who he had been smiling at. A familiar flash of blonde caught Derek's eye. One word left his lips. "Meredith."


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

**SO we havent updated this in months, but we're back to it.**

**PLEASE REVIEW.**

_I don't want to be able to breathe,  
__Or be able to see what's become. _

It was nothing, Derek told himself. It had to be nothing. Meredith was smarter than to fall for Mark. Besides, she loved him. Meredith loved him, and someday, they would get their chance. He had to keep believing that. He repeated it over and over until he began to believe it.

He strolled down the halls distractedly, his eyes combing the hospital for a glimpse of her. If he saw her without Mark, he could believe that there was nothing between them. The very thought of Meredith with Mark, not even _with_ Mark, but being around Mark, was too much to bear. He had spent high school and college and medical school, and all the years up until he found Mark in his own bed hearing about how adapt Mark was at seduction. That had been amusing to Derek; funny anecdotes about his best friend's favorite pastime. The thought of those smiles, those touches, and the bending techniques used on _his_ Meredith? That was unbearable.

Derek yawned, exhausted. He hadn't been able to sleep at all for the last few nights. His thoughts were too heavy, too prominent. Turning over the conversation he'd had with Meredith in her home after the code black took precedent over sleep.

_It was a Thursday morning. _

He was haunted by the what ifs. What if he actually had lost her? What if she was no longer his to lose? Derek always assumed that someday, Addison would give up and he could go back to Meredith. When he learned she was holding the bomb in her hands, the thought had entered his mind that the day may never come.

_It looks like round four goes to the jackass too. _

Meredith and Mark? "Never." Derek muttered to himself. He ran a hand through his hair and headed for the fourth floor nurses station, in serious need of coffee.

Izzie was also in need of coffee. She was trying to be positive, turn over a new leaf, and encourage her friends to do the same. She was sick of Cristina's cynicism, George pining for Meredith and Meredith pining for McDreamy. The only person she really wasn't sick of was Alex, but she preferred not to go there. Although Cristina thought it was tragic, secretly, Izzie admired Meredith's plan to go after what she wanted. Lost in thought, she trudged to the nurse's station, practically smacking into Alex on the way.

"Hey." She said, grinning and averting her eyes, feigning a deep interest in the tile floor.

"Hey." He said back, filling up a coffee cup for her. He added the proper proportions of cream and sugar, something made Izzie smile and handed it to her. She took a long sip in relief.

"Thank God." She said. "The coffee at the house this morning tasted like acid."

In the hallway, hovering outside the lounge, Derek's head snapped up at her words.

Addison walked through the halls of Seattle Grace, repeating a mantra over and over in her head.

_You don't regret it. You don't regret it. _

Convincing herself that she didn't regret resigning herself to her loveless marriage, letting Mark slip through her fingertips was difficult. So she told herself that she didn't care as many times as she could, desperate for the moment when she would actually start to believe it.

"Meredith, I'm telling you. Awful idea. Terrible. Tragic, actually. It's tragic."

"Thank you Cristina. Really. Thank you."

Addison hovered around the corner, feeling little shame at eavesdropping on their conversation. "I'm just saying. I'm your person. I have to tell you stuff like that."

"It might not be a terrible idea. And since it's my only idea, I don't care if it's terrible. I almost blew up yesterday. I'm entitled to a few bad ideas."

"Well sticking your hand on unexploded ammunition was one. This is your second, so I guess you're all out." Addison smirked to herself, and then rounded the corner, expecting Meredith to adapt her lost puppy eyes and look away, but Addison never got a chance to notice. She was too busy staring straight ahead into the conference room.

She was breathless at the sight of Mark, standing there, in navy blue scrubs, a little stubble on his face. She watched in bewilderment as he reached out and shook Richard's hand. He leaned down and wrote something on a paper sitting on the table, and Richard gave him a lab coat. Addison realized what was happening, and Cristina nudged Meredith.

Mark strode out of the room, a smug grin on his face. "Seattle Grace." He said, pointing to the embroidery on his lab coat. Addison thought he was talking to her.

"Mark what on earth are you…?" she trailed off as he breezed by the last few feet towards a blushing Meredith.

"Lunch?" he asked.

Meredith faltered, remembering Cristina's words, what a bad plan it was. She glanced over and saw the look on Addison's face. She grinned up at Mark.

"Lunch." She confirmed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

_Your kiss was taken from me,  
Now all I have is this._

They ate outside every day. It didn't matter how cold it was, or if they had to huddle under the umbrella above their table because it was raining. It was a ritual they had as interns, like hiding in the tunnels or going to Joe's.

It was a known fact in Seattle Grace that if you wanted to find Bailey's interns at lunchtime, all you had to do was walk outside. Which is what Derek Shepherd intended to do. His mind was on a one way track. To go outside, find the interns, ask to talk to Meredith for a second, tell her anything to keep her from Mark, and then offer her a surgery. He headed for the cafeteria, picked up a coffee, and started for the door.

It wasn't raining today. It wasn't raining, and there wasn't any cold wind blowing. The tables outside were full of doctors and nurses, but Derek scanned the crowd for his intern. Not seeing Meredith, he looked for her friends. At a table near the back, he saw the unruly black hair belonging to Cristina Yang. He saw her, Izzie Stevens and George, but the rest of their table was blocked by a group standing up to leave.

He assumed she and Alex were occupying the chairs he couldn't see and made his way towards them. He heard Meredith laughing as he got closer. The crowd in front of the table dispersed, and Derek stopped, frozen in the middle of the tables.

He saw Meredith and all of her friends, sitting around and talking to Mark. His ex best friend was wearing his new lab coat and sitting next to her. She was looking at him with bright eyes, giggling as he talked with his hands. Derek felt tiny little pricks of angers start in his fists, and rush to the rest of his body. He wanted to kill Mark.

He couldn't let himself be mad at Meredith, but he could have killed Mark. His feet started moving towards them again, before his brain could stop him. "McDreamy." George said disguising it as a cough. Meredith tensed, seeing him approach their table. Mark nudged her, and she realized that this was what they had been waiting for. This was the first step to taking what she wanted.

"Dr. Shepherd." She said as he approached.

"Dr. Grey." He said, smiling at her. She shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the remains of her lunch on her tray. Cristina shoveled some food into her mouth at the same time Izzie started talking in hushed tones to Alex. George didn't know what was happening, but he turned his attention back to his crossword puzzle.

"Is there something you wanted, Derek?" Mark asked slowly, leaning to the side of his chair that was closer to Meredith.

Derek felt his fist clench. He took a sip of coffee to calm down. "Meredith," he said pointedly, ignoring Mark. "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to scrub in on my surgery later. Hemispherectomy. Very rare. You'd learn a lot."

Meredith teetered on the edge of saying yes. She wanted to say yes. Every fiber of her wanted to see that case, wanted to see Derek standing in the OR, confident and powerful with a scalpel in his hand.She loved him when he was operating; in control, collected and sexy. Her eyes traveled from his face to his hands. She turned to Mark. "What time is your skin graft?" she asked.

"Four." He said, grinning. "Ninety percent of the girl's skin is charred." He added for good measure.

Meredith steeled herself and turned back to Derek. "It's Mark's first surgery at Seattle Grace." She said. "He already asked me to scrub in."

Derek nodded slowly. "So that's a no?" he asked, incredulously, like he didn't believe it. Meredith shrugged and shook her head.

"I've already got a surgery." She said. Derek nodded and walked away, mumbling something about next time under his breath. The table was silent as Meredith's friends eyed her, like they couldn't believe she had done it.

"Five letter word for quickly…" George mused, breaking the silence.

"Hasty." Cristina and Mark said in unison. Meredith got up and bolted from the table.

* * *

You will get used to this. She repeated it over and over in her head as she took deep, calming breaths. This was her only option. That it had obviously hurt Derek was something that hurt her right back, but she felt encouraged. For the first time since she had agreed to do this, she felt like it could actually work.

She wandered down to the tunnels, desperate for some time alone to think. She needed to steel herself. She needed to make it look believable. She needed to be able to breath, even when she knew she was hurting Derek.

Meredith wound her way through the halls until she came upon the familiar sight. She was ready to throw herself down on a gurney and stare at the ceiling until someone paged her. Instead, she found herself staring at Derek.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her tone harsher than she had intended.

"What are you doing with him?" Derek countered.

Meredith looked down at the floor, overcome with guilt. She fidgeted with her scrub top nervously. "I'm not with him. We were eating lunch." She said defensively.

"Are you going to tell me you didn't sleep with him?" Derek demanded. His eyes searched her face, where he found the damning answer. He felt the air leave his lungs, like someone had just punched him in the gut. "Oh my God, you did." He muttered.

Meredith looked down again, willing the tears that had filled her eyes not to spill over. "What did you expect? That I would never be with anyone again? I need something."

Meredith," Derek pleaded desperately, trying to get her to see everything that was in front of her. "He's Mark. He's not going to be there, he's not going to care about you. He's not going to love you."

Meredith closed her eyes and when she opened them, there was an ironic smile on her face. "At least I know he's not married, Derek." She said quietly. She shook her head and walked away, leaving Derek there, in the tunnels all alone, knowing that no matter how many times he tried to blame her for this, he had forced this hand on his own.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

**Okay, so we havent updated in awhile. We aologize for that. This story is particularly hard to write for some reason. We have all these ideas but no organization. But, as always, please REVIEW.**

_Cause I don't want to crush you,  
But I feel like crushing you. _

He didn't know why he insisted on torturing himself, but he pushed his surgery back two hours to do it. He sat in the far corner of the gallery, his hands clenched into fists so hard, his knuckles were white. He dug his nails into his palms, longing to feel the pain it should have been causing, but there was none.

All of his emotions and feelings were blanketed by white hot rage. It churned in his gut, making him feel sick. He watched her help Mark with his skin graft, barely able to see them through his angry haze. Mark smiled at her over the patient's charred body, and he could by her eyes that she was smiling back.

"Hey." He heard to his right, as a body settled in the chair next to him. Addison nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at Derek cautiously, assuming he was still angry at her.

"Hi." He said shortly. It was not a greeting that asked for more conversation, but Addison pushed anyway.

"Don't you have your own surgery?" she asked.

"Got delayed." Derek grunted, his eyes never leaving the OR. Mark handed Meredith a ten blade and she was making careful cuts in the skin. Meredith had slept with Mark. He had the perfect chance to make things right. He was in her house that night, after the bomb. He could have taken her in his arms and told her everything. That he loved her, that he was a shell of a person without her. But he chose to go back to Addison.

Derek was tired of being the good guy. He had done it for too long, and now, Mark had the only thing he'd ever wanted. With a cold splash of reality, he realized that this is probably how Mark had felt when Derek had married Addison, but Mark Sloan was in the OR with Meredith, and he deserved no sympathy.

Addison watched Derek watch Mark and Meredith. She would have liked to watch Mark, but not with Meredith. So she watched Derek. She started at his legs. He was bouncing them on the floor impatiently, instead of having them stretched out in front of him the way he usually did in the gallery. His torso was leaning forward, and his hands were curled into fists on his lap, turning his knuckles white.

But his face, that was the most interesting thing to watch. Twisted with rage, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were blazing a dark indigo. But what Addison noticed was the way his eyes softened every time they landed on Meredith.

* * *

"They're staring at us." Meredith murmured, frowning under her mask. Mark looked up from the burned skin he was removing.

"That's kind of the point, Mer." He said. She tried to focus on the advanced procedure going on in front of her, but her eyes kept drifting back up to the gallery. She hated to see Derek like this, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. Some kind of sick fascination was keeping her eyes trained on the pain she inflicted.

"He looks… he might kill you later." She said to Mark, trying to be as casual as he was, trying to pretend like she didn't care.

"Meredith." He said, her name coming out of his mouth like he'd known her for ages. "We can do this. It would be worse if he didn't care."

"I hate hurting him." Meredith muttered. For awhile, Mark didn't say anything, and Meredith wasn't sure if he had heard her. Finally, he met her eyes over the table.

"He hurt you." He reminded her. Meredith nodded resolutely.

"_You're staying with her, aren't you?" _

"_She's my wife." _

"Yeah." She said quietly. "Yeah he did." She noticed that the scrub nurses were all staring at them with great interest, so she quickly asked Mark about the surgery. But her eyes kept moving up to the gallery, until Derek left to do his surgery.

When he was gone, she stopped looking, and she didn't notice that Addison sat there the whole time, her hands in her lap, her eyes on the floor, only daring to glance down occasionally at Mark.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

**Author's Note: Author's Note: WE'RE SORRY! We haven't abandoned our fics. The internet wasn't working in our apartment for the first two weeks of school, and we couldnt update. But here you are. Everything should be updated this week. **

**And yea, you guys will hate us for most of this fic. It's not gonna be pretty. **

**REVIEW.**

_You're too young for me,  
but I can keep a secret,  
I'm in total control  
of this situation._

Cristina sauntered down the hallway towards the locker room. Overall, it had been a good day. Good enough to warrant a self satisfied saunter instead of an exhausted trudge. She could see the locker room; she was moments away from discarding her scrubs, changing into her jeans and going to Joe's.

As she reached for the locker room door, she felt a hand close around her upper arm. She turned around ready to tell them off, but found herself speechless, staring at the anguished face of Derek Shepherd. She sighed. "Come on, McDreamy." She said, giving in to the impulse to help him.

It was odd, leading her boss, her best friend's ex boyfriend into an empty linen closet. He started pacing back and forth, finally running a hand through his hair and stopping his movements to turn and face her.

"Is she really with him?" he asked, sounding oddly like he was choking. Cristina averted her eyes and gazed at a stack of gauze pads on the shelf. "Damn, it Yang, answer me." Derek said.

"I don't know. I think she might be." Cristina said, ripping the proverbial band aid off. "What do you care, anyway? You're married aren't you?"

"That doesn't mean I don't…" Derek trailed off. "He has to have a motive or he has to think he'll get something out of this… and I can't…" He ran a hand through his hair again before balling it into a fist and slamming it into his fist. "It's Meredith." He said to Cristina.

She frowned at him. "Is that supposed to explain this? The kidnapping me, the anguished pacing? Because it's Meredith? If you don't want her to be with Mark, stop stammering excuses and do something about it."

"Cristina, I'm…"

"What?" She snapped, "Married? And whose fault is that? If you're married, then let her be with Mark. After all, a married man wouldn't care." She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She headed for the door, but turned around. "Dr. Shepherd, if you do care, figure out what to do about it, okay? Before it's too late." She slammed the door and left Derek in the linen closet.

* * *

Again, the locker room was in her sight. "Hello, Dr. Yang." She turned towards the voice, rolling her eyes unabashedly this time. 

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." She said dryly, emphasizing the Montgomery. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked. "No, you know what. With all due respect, I know what you're going to ask. And yes, they're sleeping together." With that, she finally opened the locker room door, leaving an open mouthed Addison in her wake.

Cristina opened the door to Joe's to see Meredith and Mark sitting at the bar. Her friend was laughing at something Mark said to her. Cristina walked to them and leaned in between them. "McDreamy's on the war path." She said.

She raised an irritated eyebrow at Mark as he put his hand on Meredith's knee and squeezed it reassuringly. "Oh you're not off the hook." She said, smiling. "McWife is freaking out too. Joe, I'm going to need a drink."

Mark turned to Meredith. "They're going to show up here, aren't they?"

"Probably."

"It's go time, Grey." He said, flashing her one of his dashing smiles. She rolled her eyes at herself as she felt herself melt a little bit. There was something about him she was drawn to, even if he paled in comparison to Derek. Meredith snuck a sidelong glance at Mark, mystified by the primal attraction she felt.

A flash of red and a hint of dark wavy hair became visible through the glass of the door, and Meredith inadvertently sucked in a breath. "Follow my lead." Mark said. He got up, and strolled over to Izzie and Alex who were sitting at a table. "Karev, Stevens." He said. "Meredith and I were wondering if you'd like to join us for dinner tomorrow."

Izzie almost spit out the drink in her mouth. "Like a double date?" she said. "Why is she sitting over there while you…." She trailed off. "You know what, whatever. We'll be there." Alex nodded, eager to spend time with the plastics god.

Izzie looked over at him and arched an eyebrow, smacking him in the ribs. "Put your tongue back in." She said. She shot Mark a questioning look that faded into something like understanding as Derek and Addison entered the bar.

"Right." Izzie said, smiling. "We'll see you for dinner tomorrow night." Mark was acutely aware of Derek and Addison's eyes as he headed back to the bar.

Meredith could feel his eyes on her, boring into her profile. He was watching her, and every move she made was on display for him. She picked up her glass and drained it, and just as she was working up the courage to sneak a glance at him, she felt her stool being turned around.

Mark pinned her against the bar, and out of spite and instinct she wrapped her legs around his and leaned back as he kissed her deeply. She giggled a little, and then kissed him again. Mark released her and sat down, signaling to Joe for more drinks, still touching Meredith. She looked over at Derek, and immediately wished she hadn't. His face was twisted into an expression frozen between disgust and pain. She slid off the stool, mumbling something to Mark and headed for the bathroom.

Blindly pushing the stall open, she leaned over the toilet, and threw up. As she stood, flushed and wiped her mouth, she still felt Derek's gaze piercing her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

**Wow. We suck at life so much. This hasnt been updated since August 31. Wow. We've been super busy, and we're trying to get everything updated. This story may get a little trashy and ridiculous, so be ready. **

**REVIEW.**

_I won't turn now from a fight, even though I'll never win._

"Well," Izzie said, her voice affectedly chipper. "Here we are. On a double date. With Meredith and her fake boyfriend."

Meredith's eyebrows raised, not really in shock as much as grateful irritation. It had been awkward. Quite awkward. The restaurant was casual, but intimate and none of them knew exactly how to behave.

Alex paused, his beer halfway to his mouth. "Dude, I knew it." He said. Mark shot him a dubious glance.

"You knew, Karev?"

Alex scoffed and took a sip. "Everyone knows." He said offhandedly. Mark and Meredith shot each other a look, and Alex rolled his eyes. "They have no idea." He said. "The she Shepherd is too busy trying to figure out how she lost another guy to you and McDreamy's completely blinded by rage." Alex shrugged and shoveled some more food into his mouth.

Mark appraised him from across the table. "You've proven me wrong Karev. This whole time I thought you were a complete idiot, but that just upped you to fifty percent intelligence." Alex fairly elated and Mark rolled his eyes. "Have some dignity, Karev." He said after Meredith gave him a look. "I'm sure you're capable. Prove it to me in surgery tomorrow."

Alex choked on what he was chewing, and started nodding and coughing at the same time. When he recovered, the table fell into silence. The four of them looked at each other and laughter broke out instantly. "So this doesn't have to be so…" Meredith trailed off.

"Awkward?" Izzie supplied helpfully.

"Are you kidding?" Alex asked. "This is awesome." Meredith giggled again, and locked eyes with Izzie, who was no longer laughing.

"Well this looks cozy." A familiar voice said. Meredith's head snapped around to see Addison looming over their table, Derek at her side. "Are Yang and O'Malley on their way, or do you only fraternize with select interns?"

"Actually, Addison," Mark said slowly, as Meredith's hand landed on his arm, "We're kind of…" he trailed off and finished his sentence with a few pointed glances.

"Oh." Addison said, looking surprised. She faltered. "Well, I see. That's um…" She stopped and gave them all a tight smile. "Enjoy your evening." She said, her voice sounding strained.

Mark grinned easily, no sign of tension in his face. "You too Addison." Meredith looked at Derek, his face was stony, without any sign of emotion save for his clenched jaw. "Have a great dinner, Derek." Mark said.

Derek's hand curled into a fist and Mark brushed his hand casually over Meredith's thigh. She winced again, overcome by the urge to throw up, or confess everything, but she forced her grimace into a smile.

"Dr. Shepherd." She said, nodding. The rest of their dinner passed quietly, without interruption. Meredith sat and ate and bantered with her friends, and her fake boyfriend, and willed herself not to turn around and look towards the table where Derek sat.

When she rose to leave with Mark, she knew he was watching. The way her body felt so alert; he had to be watching. "Are you guys going to Joe's?" Alex asked.

Meredith glanced at Mark and he shook his head. "We're going to head back to the hotel. Karev, don't be hung over for surgery tomorrow."

* * *

Meredith entered Mark's plush hotel room from the bathroom, wearing only her underwear and a lacy tank top. Mark was sitting on the bed, shirtless, smoking a cigarette, his brow furrowed. The sight struck Meredith as so bizarre she almost wanted to laugh, but instead, she raised an eyebrow. "Those will give your wrinkles." She said, ignoring the cancer and heart disease.

"Great. I can give myself Botox." Mark said dryly, his voice tinged with bitterness. Tentatively, Meredith sat down on the bed next to him. "Derek would kill me if he could see this. If he still cared, he'd kill me." Mark said. "He always said doctors smoking was the height of irresponsibility."

Meredith smiled. "Sounds like something he'd say." She remarked, her tone laced a soft sadness.

Mark sighed. "It bothers you, doesn't it? Doing this to him?"

Meredith drew her knees to her chest and nodded. "I just… I'm afraid we're burning bridges."

"It kills me," Mark admitted after a few minutes, "Seeing them together." Meredith looked over sharply, surprised, but she didn't say anything. "Derek was always the better guy. The reliable one. And I was… Mark. But Addison was different, she wasn't a competition, she was my whole life."

"She was his too."

Mark shook his head. "No. All three of us thought she was. But he was just waiting for you." Meredith's breath caught in her throat as she felt her heart stop beating for a second. She stared ahead, caught incredibly off guard at the frankness of his statement.

"So, the question is, what do you want Meredith?" he asked, stubbing out the cigarette in a bedside ashtray.

She was silent for a long time, torn between loyalty to Derek, even after his many betrayals, and an animalistic desire for Mark Sloan. "I want Derek." She admitted softly.

Mark looked at her, the dim light of the room reflecting in his eyes. "And right now?" Meredith swung her legs over him, straddling him.

She smiled. "Right now I want you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

_Do you feel a certain sense of synergy  
__Between yourself and me? _

"Busy day today people!" Bailey called to her interns. "Yang, you're in the pit with Stevens. Watch out for trauma and try not to kill anyone. O'Malley, you're with Montgomery Shepherd in the NICU. Karev, Sloan paged last night to request you, but the God has yet to arrive this morning. Grey…" She stopped and looked around. "Where the hell is Grey?" she demanded.

At the sound of her name, both Derek and Addison stopped in their tracks. They had been walking to the nurses' station together, having a forced, tense conversation, but at the sound of her name, Derek had stopped short. His whole body froze at the mention of her, because somehow, he knew she was with Mark. The thought made him sick, made his stomach turn queasily.

Addison has stopped moving several seconds after Derek. To someone standing a few feet, it looked like they stopped in perfect synchronicity, but Addison knew they were nowhere near that level. The look on his face made Addison sick to her stomach. She was losing him little by little, and she wasn't even sure he was something she wanted to hold on to. Her head refused to stop spinning, and it made her want to crawl back in bed and lie there all day.

They stood, staring aimlessly, when a familiar giggle sounded throughout the hall. Meredith and Mark stumbled in, both already dressed in scrubs. Her hair was wild, like she had someone's hands running through it all night. By the smug look on Mark's face, it was clear that she had. Meredith's giggles subsided as she caught Bailey's stern look, and she stood next to Mark, so close that their forearms were touching.

"Grey, where the hell have you been?" Bailey demanded. "It is now seven fifteen. Your skinny little butt should have been standing in front of me fifteen," she checked her watch, "Sixteen minutes ago."

Meredith looked up sheepishly and grimaced. "Dr. Bailey." Mark said smoothly, smiling. "Meredith was assisting me. With um…. It was very important." He said, struggling not to laugh. Meredith tried to stifle a laugh and snorted.

"Was she now?" Bailey asked, not wanting to bait him.

"She was indeed." Mark said slowly, leaning forward and giving Bailey a wink. A wink that was not lost on Derek or Addison.

"Well that's just fabulous." Bailey snapped. "Grey, you're damn lucky this fool is an attending, because next time you're late you won't see the inside of the OR for that many days."

Meredith nodded. Her friends watched intently at the possessive way Mark circled his hand around her tiny wrist, but no one watched as closely as Derek and Addison. "Sorry, Dr. Bailey." She said.

"You're with Dr. Shepherd today." Bailey said. Meredith's head snapped up, but her eyes traveled past Bailey and locked with Derek's. She felt dizzy, like she couldn't possibly breathe and look at him at the same time. She nodded slowly, and the group began to disperse.

"Meet me in room 345, Karev!" Mark shouted, before turning Meredith towards him.

"Hey," he said softly. "Be good today, okay?" She looked at him, strangely moved by the soft look in his eyes. She smiled and nodded, feeling a wave of self loathing wash over her for letting him look at her in this way. She started to walk away, but he pulled back and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. Derek turned on his heel and strode away, but Addison remained, after Meredith left. Mark looked up at her, startled at the pain in her eyes.

"Addie…" he said.

"Be good today." She mocked him, malice creeping into her voice. "What the hell are you doing?" she burst out before he could respond.

"What the hell are you doing?" he shot back. "Addison, we… we were _together_." He said, hurt evident in his tone.

"I see that made a huge impression on you. How quickly you moved on." She said, icily.

He rolled his eyes. "I don't need to hear this from you." He said, starting to walk away.

"How dare you." She said, turning on her heels to face the direction he had gone. "Derek and I are _married_, Mark. Meredith is just some girl you picked up in a bar." She smirked. "Another girl you picked up from Derek."

Mark's entire body tensed. He turned his eyes towards hers and Addison steeled herself against the pain in them. She wanted to hurt him. She needed to hurt him as much as he was hurting her.

"You'll never be him, you know." She said. "You'll never be good enough. Why do you think she's with you? Because she's hurt, because she loves Derek. Not you, Mark. Pretty common, isn't it?" She turned on her heel, and walked away, left him staring after her. She expected to feel satisfied, expected to feel powerful. Instead, she felt sick.

* * *

Derek stormed to the OR, done with watching. He was tired of watching Mark put his hands all over Meredith; _his_ Meredith. He hated Mark, hated Meredith, and hated himself. He had always assumed that Addison would see how much he loved her, and just let him go, but she held on, and now he was stuck.

Derek made a choice as he strode through the halls, fuming. He had gotten himself into this mess, and he could get himself out of it. He was going to have to fight for her, fight for Meredith. It couldn't be obvious; he would have to do it subtly. In those stolen moments they shared, he would fight for her. He entered the scrub room, and there she was, methodically washing her hands, a panic stricken expression on her face.

"Dr. Grey." He said, smoothly, evenly, joining her at the sink.

"Dr. Shepherd." She said softly. As hard as she tried to fight it, her eyes slid over and she watched him. Derek could tell she was looking and let her for a few seconds, before sliding his eyes over to meet hers. Their gazes connected with a bolt of electricity that sent shivers down Meredith's spine.

She followed him into the OR in silence. "Okay, people," he said confidently. "We've got a life to save." Meredith traipsed after him and took her place across the operating table, transfixed. She watched him intently; couldn't take her eyes away, really.

He navigated around a brain like it was second nature. He smirked at her over the table, the scalpel in his hands, and the power all around him. She felt herself flush as the sensation took her over.

"Everything okay over there, Dr. Grey?" he asked. She promised herself she would not look him in the eye, but her gaze slide to meet his. He fixed her with a stare so intense, she actually felt weak in the knees.

"Just fine." She choked out. He kept staring at her, a stare so piercing, she was sure he knew everything in her head, her heart, and her soul. He smiled and looked down, back into the patient's brain, a self satisfied smirk on his face.

They finished the surgery, and the scrub nurses had long since cleared out, but Meredith stood in the silent, darkened OR, slumped against a wall, unable to stop thinking. She heard the door slide open and knew it was Derek before she looked over to find his body leaning on the wall next to hers.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"I don't know." She answered honestly. "I want to be."

"I know." He whispered. He pushed himself off the wall and faced her, leaning in close, their lips almost touching. "It's all going to work out." He whispered. He leaned in, putting his lips to her ears. "I promise."

He gave her a final smile and walked away. She shivered, and when she looked up into the gallery, she saw Mark glaring down at her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: On the Other Side**

**Author: Sara and Lizzie**

**Rating: T. We like to use language, excessive drinking and sex. **

**Disclaimer: As much as owning Grey's would be nice, it's merely a fantasy. **

**Summary: Life didnt come down on the side of the dirty mistresses, so the dirty mistresses came down with each other. Mer and Mark learn the hard way that loving the one you're with doesn't change the one you really love. Eventually MerDer and Maddison. Set after Yesterday. **

_He's going outside in the middle of the night with you,  
__Tell me what I'm supposed to do…_

"What the hell was that?" Mark demanded, storming into the scrub room. Meredith shook her head.

"I have no idea." She breathed, wringing her hands together absently.

"Does he know?" Mark asked forcefully.

"Of course not!" Meredith said. "He's…. he told me everything would work out."

Mark laughed bitterly. "How dreamy of him." He spit out harshly before stalking out of the room. Meredith sighed and threw her bloody gloves in the trashcan.

* * *

"Why is McSteamy giving you the evil eye?" Cristina asked Meredith at lunch, as they sat outside with Alex and George.

"He saw Derek telling me everything would work out." Meredith said.

"He saw Derek telling you? He didn't hear it?" Cristina asked.

"It was an…intimate sort of telling." Meredith said. "We were in the OR, he was in the gallery."

"Isn't that kind of the point?" Alex asked.

Meredith shook her head. "It's too soon."

"But you're winning the battle." Cristina said slowly, a hint of pride in her voice.

"I guess…" Meredith said looking down uncomfortably. She but her lip and eyed Mark across the cafeteria.

"Oh wow!" Crsitina said, grinning. "You're still doing McSteamy. It wasn't just the one night. He's still sexing you up isn't he?" Meredith closed her eyes as George started choking on his sandwich.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"Thank you Cristina." Meredith said dryly. George shook his head and got up, leaving the table in a huff. Cristina shrugged.

"I didn't think you had it in you, Mer." She said, reaching for her hip as her pager went off. She rose from the table, grabbing the uneaten second half of George's sandwich and taking off in the other direction.

Meredith put her hand chin in her hands and looked across the table at Alex. "Oh don't look at me like that." She said.

"What are you doing, Grey?" he asked.

"I really don't know. I'm attracted to him in the illicit way, but it's nothing like Derek."

Alex nodded. "You know this is going to totally come back and bite you in the ass right?" Meredith smiled in spite of herself and threw a French fry across the table at Alex.

From a table behind them, Addison arched a perfectly groomed eyebrow. "Is she with Karev now too?" she asked, cocking her head in Meredith's direction. "Because you'd think one surgeon would be enough."

Derek stared at her, his eyes flashing. "What?" Addison asked. "Too harsh?" She continued, her tone mocking. Derek's hand clenched into fists. She blinked innocently. "It was just a question, Derek. I mean, apparently she's dating Mark, but look at her over there." Her tone was even, light in fact, but there was blood boiling in her veins. An intense anger, unlike any she had ever felt before hovered dangerously beneath her surface, threatening to rear its ugly head at any moment.

Mark and Meredith. It didn't make sense, and it was enough to make her feel sick. This morning, the way they giggled and pressed their arms together as they walked, they might as well as issued a memo to the hospital staff that they were having sex. And the look on Mark's face. His slightly pursed lips. The subtle arch of an eyebrow. The smug look of someone who just got exactly what he wanted. He had fixed that look on Derek for reasons Addison couldn't understand. She had thought she would be on the receiving end, but he had fixed it on Derek. She sighed as Derek hissed angry words to her that she couldn't hear.

She stood up on her Lacroix heels and walked away without a word. She turned back before she went inside. Derek was gazing at Meredith, like he didn't even notice she was gone.

* * *

"Grey!" called the familiar voice of her resident hours later.

"Dr. Bailey." Meredith said, turning around.

"I'm punishing you." Bailey said. "For being late this morning. I am punishing you."

Meredith blinked. "Okay." She said slowly, unsure of where Bailey was going with this.

"Dr. Shepherd needs an intern. And you're the only one available."

"I was with Dr. Shepherd already today." Meredith said, confused about how this qualified as punishment. She shivered as she remembered the closeness of Derek in the OR.

"Dr. Montgomery Shepherd." Bailey said, a twinge of sympathy in her voice.

"Oh." Meredith said flatly. She froze, and stood, rigid in the middle of the hallway. The thought of looking at Addison over the table was too much.

"OR Two. Five minutes." Bailey said, giving her a little push. Meredith smiled weakly and took off at a run.

"You're late, Dr. Grey." Addison said coldly as Meredith burst into the OR.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd." Meredith said, taking her place. Addison sighed and rolled her eyes. In the corner of her eye, she saw the gallery, Mark and Derek sitting in it, watching, looking ironically twin like, sitting with their arms crossed over their chests and their faces stony with a chair in between them.

"Now that Dr. Grey as decided to join us, we can proceed with this surgery. Dr. Grey, if you're ready, we can start saving this woman's life?" Meredith nodded and Addison extended a hand. "Scalpel." She said.

In the gallery, Mark turned to Derek. "I saw you today." He said evenly, a self satisfied smile on his face.

"You see me right now, jack ass." Derek said, struggling to keep his voice from tightening with rage.

"I saw you with Meredith. In the gallery. What did you say to her?"

"It's none of your business." Derek snapped. Mark looked down into the gallery. Meredith caught his eye and smiled from under her mask.

"Actually, it is my business." Mark said. "I am, after all the one taking her home at night." He said with a smirk. Derek couldn't help but see it in his mind's eye, Meredith's nails digging into Mark's back, Mark kissing her collarbone as her back arched. Rage exploded behind his eyes and the gallery went red for a few seconds.

"You'd be smart to keep your hands off of her." He growled.

"You should know, Derek, that's a hard body to resist." Mark said, grinning.

"She's not just a body!" Derek said standing. "You don't know her! You don't know anything about her!"

Mark lifted an eyebrow and grinned, about to retort when he saw Derek's eyes turn towards the OR, as Addison's voice rang through the speaker connected to the gallery.

"Dr. Grey, hold the clamp." She said coldly. "I'm interested to why you're even in the OR after that stunt you pulled this morning."

"I was late." Meredith said. "It happens."

"Is that why you need an attending with you at all times?" Addison snapped. "To cover your mistakes?"

Meredith looked down meekly, then changed her mind. She was so tired of Addison judging her. "I don't have to answer to you." She said. Addison's head shot up.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" she asked. Her hand jerked and the scalpel slipped. The beeping of the monitor slowed into a flat line and Mark and Derek both watched in acute horror as they scrambled to control the damage.

* * *

Addison pulled her scrubs off and angrily shoved them in the trashcan. Meredith stood against the far wall of the scrub room, her back flattened against the wall. "Addison…"

"Don't." Addison said. "Don't stammer apologies to me. Don't look at me. You have Derek. You have Mark. What more do you want?" She didn't wait around for an answer, instead she just stormed out of the scrub room. She stalked down the hallway, furious with Meredith, Derek, and Mark, but most of all, herself.

"Addison."

"I lost a patient, Mark. I _killed_ a patient. What makes you think I'm in the mood for this?" He looked at her for a long time, studying her face. He nodded, leaned down and brushed his lips to her forehead before turning on his heel and walking away.

He found Meredith in the scrub room, looking despondent. He walked in, her head snapping up at the sound of the doors opening. She was pressed against him before he could say a word, fusing her lips to his roughly.

"Car?" he asked, breaking the kiss. She nodded breathlessly and started walking; he trailed closely behind her. They made their way through the lobby and out the front door. As soon as the doors slid shut behind them, he caught her in another searing kiss.

From inside the hospital, Derek watched as their lips wrestled in the rain, and Meredith pulled Mark towards the car.


End file.
